Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between.
I haven’t been myself in a while. I’ve stopped posting, because I haven’t felt the spark of inspiration or the want to do anything, really. I’ve just been going to work–which I’m actually enjoying, though I still have moments of anxiety–and coming back and doing nothing. The news has been upsetting and people have been bothering me, and in the end of the day, I’ve realized that I haven’t been writing for myself.
You see, I’ve never really felt like I belonged anywhere. That there’s this invisible wall, or weight, separating me from things I want to do. Like, I’m stuck on the ground unable to climb the ladder, while everyone else climbing higher and higher.
I’m not like Kathryn.
I don’t have the money, or the ability to work the coward. I don’t have the same support that she does. I know, I’m never going to sell as many books, or go to events or book signings. Hell, I suck at writing for an audience!
I write what I write, because I want to chase that spark that my stories give me. I want to feel like I belong somewhere, and that’s what my stories do. They give me a place I can call home…
I know, that as writers, it’s about our readers. We wouldn’t be writers without them. But, I also know that I’m never going to make a living as one. I want to entertain, but I also want to write for me. For the past me, the little three or four year old me that wanted to write so bad, that she would scribble lines in notebooks, because she didn’t know how to form letters yet.
I just want to write. I want to see my name on a cover. And, yeah, sure, maybe make a few bucks off of it.
I just want to know I’m not alone. That somewhere out there, someone gets it. That they get how amazing that spark is and want to follow it, too.
I mean, that’s what life is all about, right? Living for the spark. Doing the things you love, even if you don’t make money off of it.
Here’s hoping that someone out there reads this and gets it… Happy reading/writing.
Until next time,
L. A. Maciel
Thanks. Happy writing back at you.:-)
Happy writing! š
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